Nick does not need porn
by grimmswan
Summary: Silly bit of nonsense about Nick's sex drive. Kind of a cracky one shot. Mostly Nick's perspective.


Nick knew he was odd. In so many ways. Especially with his sex drive. He could never be with someone he didn't have feelings for. When he was a teenager, there had been a lot of girls who had found him really cute, but as he never had a chance to date and get to know them, he had never gone all the way with any of them. It wasn't until he was in college and had his first girlfriend that he had finally had sex. They had dated for three weeks, and then had done it in the backseat of his car. Not the most romantic place, or the most ideal, but they had both enjoyed themselves and had continued to have sex as often as they could.

After six months she started to reveal her crazy side. Getting jealous of any girl he was talking to, even if they were in a study group. She had actually gotten furious with him when he was hanging out with his male friends. Even though she was busy at a family event that he hadn't been invited to, she still expected him to wait by the phone for her.

He broke it off with her, and after a week she was telling a new guy she loved him. She was eventually kicked out of school because she was failing every class and spent more time chasing after and harassing the male student body then on her studies.

Nick had discovered he was a serial monogamous. He only ever dated one person at a time and only had sex when he knew it was serious, and they were in a full relationship.

One night stands were something he could never do. No matter the situation, it never seemed right to sleep with someone he had just met.

And yet, when he was in a relationship with someone, he wanted them all the time. He had no problem with having sex multiple times a day.

Adalind loved being shown affection. She seemed to be just as touched starved as himself. Their sex life was far from lacking. The only things that ever kept them from being together whenever they wanted, were the responsibilities they had in their lives. Like a lot of parents, they had to wait for the kids to go to sleep first. Sometimes work, and/or grimm duties kept them from having the time they wanted together. They were just like many other couples who wanted to be together but had life's responsibilities to handle.

But, all things considered, Nick knew he was a very lucky man.

The topic of Nick's sexual interest came up one day, when he was telling Adalind about catching a bank robber, who seemed to have every porno made in the last two decades stashed in his home.

"Once we saw all the porn he had, we were regretting touching the guy without wearing rubber gloves. Wu even asked if he had robbed the bank, just to pay for his porn."

Adalind laughed, shaking her head "Sounds really disturbing. I can understand having a little bit of porn, that's normal, but it sounds like this guy was replacing all human contact by going deep into a fantasy world." Then she looks at Nick and says, "You know, I'm kind of surprised I've never come across some magazine you have stashed away."

"Why would I need porn, I have you?"

"That's very sweet, Nick, but I know you had a dry spell after Juliette and before you and I became intimate."

"Well, at first I wasn't in the mood, not even for my own hand. Then, when everything went to a kind of routine, and I needed some relief, I would do it in the shower, I thought about you the entire time. Tried not to, you just kept slipping in. Then you started giving yourself to me, and all of my needs were being met. So I've never had an interest in buying anything, not when I've had you literally sleeping next to me the entire time. Plus, I would much rather give a woman I love an orgasm, than watch a woman I don't know, fake one."

"So, you've never looked through a magazine or seen a movie? That's kind of hard to believe."

"When I was younger, sure. I was curious just like any person and some of my friends would show me the magazine they stole from their dad. I've seen a couple of movies, but all I could focus on was the bad acting and the fact that all of the sex mostly happened at random and ridiculous times. Maybe it's because I've always really perceptive and analyzing people the moment I saw them. It's what made me a successful detective. Might also have something to do with me being a grimm. I just could never get past how obviously fake everything was. For me, if a woman is faking an orgasm, than I have failed as her lover and I need to pay more attention to her needs. So having porn would be useless to me. It wouldn't do the job it was meant to. Quite the opposite actually.

Nick pulls Adalind into his arms, "I can only be physically intimate with someone I have an emotional connection to. I don't do one night stands or random hookups. If I'm not with someone I care about, I don't get interested in sex. Trust me, in that particular department, I have all that I need right here."


End file.
